http://www.100md.com 2006年9月28日

    Hadley: So this big shot lawyer calls me long distance from Texas. I say, "Yeah?" He says, "Sorry to inform you, but your brother just died."

    Guard: Oh, damn. I'm sorry to hear that.

    Hadley: I'm not. He was an asshole. Ran off years ago. Figured him for dead anyway. So anyway, this lawyer fellow says to me, "your brother died a rich man." Oil wells and shit. Close to a million bucks.

    Guard: A million bucks?

    Hadley: Yeah, fucking incredible how lucky some assholes get.

    Guard: Jeeze Louise! You going to see any of that?

    Hadley: Thirty-five thousand. That's what he left me.

    Guard: Dollars?

    Hadley: Yep.

    Guard: Holy shit! That's great! That's like winning the sweepstakes, isn't it?

    Hadley: Dumb shit! What do you think the government's gonna do to me? Take a big wet bite out of my ass is what.

    Heywood: Poor Byron. Terrible fucking luck, huh?

    Another guy: Crying shame.

    Red: Some people really got it awful. Andy, are you nuts? Keep your eyes on your mop, man. Andy.

    Guard: Right, you gonna pay some tax, but you'll still end up...

    Hadley: Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe enough to buy a new car and then what? I gotta pay tax on the car, repair, maintenance, goddamn kids pestering you to take them for a ride all the time. Then at the end of the year, you figure your tax wrong, you gotta pay'em out of your own pocket. I tell you, Uncle Sam, he puts his hand in your shirt and squeezes your tit till it's purple. Working man never gets a break. Some brother. Shit.

    (Andy comes forward to Hadley)

    Guard: Hey!

    Andy: Mr. Hadley, do you trust your wife?

    Hadley: Oh, that's funny. You're gonna look funnier sucking my dick with no teeth.

    Andy: What I mean is, do you think she'd go behind your back, try to hamstring you?

    Hadley: That's it. Step aside, Mert. This fucker's having himself an accident.

    Heywood: He'll push him off the roof.

    Andy: 'Cause if you do trust her, there is no reason that you can't keep that 35,000!

    Hadley: What did you say?

    Andy: Thirty-five thousand.

    Hadley: Thirty-five thousand?

    Andy: All of it.

    Hadley: All of it?

    Andy: Every penny.

    Hadley: You'd better start making sense.

    Andy: If you want to keep all that money, give it to your wife. The IRS allows a one-time-only gift to your spouse for up to 60,000 dollars.

    Hadley: Bullshit. Tax free?

    Andy: Tax free. IRS can't touch one cent.

    Hadley: You're that smart banker what killed his wife, aren't you? Why should I believe a smug banker like you? So I can end up here with you?

    Andy: It's perfectly legal. Go ask the IRS, they'll say the same thing. Actually, I feel stupid telling you this. I'm sure you would have investigated the matter yourself.

    Hadley: Yeah, fuckin' A - I don't need some smart wife-doing banker to tell me where the bears shit in the buckwheat.

    Andy: Of course not. But you do need someone to set up the tax-free gift for you. That'll cost you, a lawyer for example.

    Hadley: A bunch of ball-washing bastards!

    Andy: I suppose I can set it up for you. That would save you some money. You get the forms, I'll prepare them for you, nearly free of charge. I'd only ask three beers apiece for each of my coworkers.

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